Lesson 3: Reducing Stress-What Works and What Doesn’t
Lesson 3: Reducing Stress-What Works and What Doesn’t
Lesson Goals
- Learn and understand effective and ineffective ways of coping.
- Apply what was learned to your own life and to your own personal experiences.
Stress is going to come into our life whether we like it or not. In order to beat stress we need to find effective ways of coping. Please watch this video below. It identifies proven tricks that help reduce stress.
Ways to reduce stress video-Stress Management Strategies: Ways to Unwind
I have personally tried all of the strategies in this video and they do help. Lately I have been loving my hot showers. I have noticed that when I get really stressed out and have too much to do, I crave a hot shower, now I know why. The video also mentioned to complete one task at a time. There have been days when I look at my tornado of a house that my kids stormed through and I just want to run. When I focus on the whole thing, it just seems impossible. But when I start on one room and do one task at a time, I am usually surprised at how fast and efficiently I get things done. I have been diffusing lavender essential oil in my house for the past 5 years. The aroma smells so good and is so calming. I even put some on my pillow at night and have put it on my babies feet before bed. My favorite de stressor of all time is going on a hike. I absolutely love being in nature. There is something so magical and therapeutic about being outdoors, enjoying God's creations and feeling the fresh air. -Lori’s story
Next time you feel stressed. I challenge you to try one or several of these suggestions. Even a quick walk around the block can help.
A study conducted at Pacific University found that yoga can help with the ability to cope with physical, emotional, and academic stress. The study included a 10 week program consisting of 10 weekly 90-minute yoga sessions that were structured to include conceptual grounding, breathing, postures, and meditation. One participant in the study exclaimed that “Yoga has been a lifesaver for me. It has helped me to learn to manage stress-which is why I started it; but it also taught me many other things I didn't expect to learn or get from the practice of yoga!” another participant said, “amazing shift in body distress and emotional overwhelm; unpleasantness turned to sense of peace!” and another said this, “sometime in the past week I was feeling stressed by something and I tried evening out my breath and it helped” (Brems, 2015). The study also provides initial evidence that even a once-weekly yoga self-care practice has positive impacts on perceived stress and stress symptom reduction.
Another study done regarding stressors and coping mechanisms among university students at the University of Barbados found that the primary and most effective coping strategies used by the students were: taking some quiet time and then resuming studies, praying for renewed strength, sleeping more, eating more, and engaging in a hobby (Persaud & Persaud, 2016).
Both of these studies can be applied to us as parents.
Self care is key to feeling better. As parents, we often are so busy taking care of our children and or spouse, that we forget to take the time to take care of our own needs. Take the time to care for yourself. In the video at the beginning of the lesson, several easy stress relieving tips were mentioned. We encourage you to include these in your daily routine as often as possible. We can be much more of a help to our family and friends if we are taking care of ourselves efficiently.
Reflection Questions- you can answer these in your journal or talk about them with a spouse or friend.
*What are some of the coping strategies mentioned in the video that you want to try?
*What coping strategies do you want to include in your daily routine?
* Can you find a way to include yoga or another physical activity in your daily routine?
Stress Relief Ball
There was a study conducted in Georgia containing 6th grade students. Data was collected from learning style inventories, surveys, journals, teacher observations and formal assessments from 29 sixth-grade students in a language arts class. These students were observed for 3 weeks before they used the stress balls and then for seven weeks using the stress balls. The results showed that when the students were using the stress balls the frequency of distraction incidents decreased during both direct instruction and independent study. Kinesthetic learners used the stress ball the most consistently and their attention spans increased more than the other students. All types of learners attention, writing abilities, attitude, and peer interactions improved from the use of the stress ball. (Stalvey & Brasell 2006)
It would be a good idea to get stress balls for our children to use during school and during homework time and also for us parents to use when we have a lot of work to get done.
Here is a short video with directions on how to make an affordable, quick and easy stress ball. I love squeezing my stress ball when I have a lot of work to get done. The sensory part of squeezing and feeling it helps calm me down a lot.
Ineffective Ways of Coping with Stress
When we use ineffective coping strategies we become burned out. Becoming burned out can include aspects of feeling overloaded, experiencing a lack of development and neglect, feeling underchallenged, and becoming worn out. (Montero-Marin, et. al, 2014) When we feel overloaded and worn out, we risk putting our health on the back burner and becoming sick. Some of you may have experienced this in college with the post-finals sickness, where studying and stressing over finals gave way to feeling under the weather when it was all over. We may even feel this now when the stressors of family life become too much for our bodies to handle.
Montero-Marin, et. al., describe some further characteristics of being burned out as follows:
- Exhaustion: being unable to give any more on an emotional level.
- Cynicism: having a distant attitude towards the tasks at hand and the people around.
- Inefficacy: feeling that one isn’t able to perform the tasks well enough.
As parents we don’t want to get caught up in the stressors of life. We want to enjoy the time we have with our families: our spouse and children. Exhibiting symptoms of exhaustion, cynicism, and/or inefficacy limits the quality time we are able to spend with those we love. We also can experience even the simple emotions of anger, disgust, or fear.
Watch this clip from the movie Inside Out. Even though the emotions take charge of Riley, she has been experiencing stress from the recent move.
Think back to a time when you experienced a stressful situation, big or small. Write in your journal some ways that you think you ineffectively handled that stressor.
If you can’t think of anything in particular, here are some ineffective ways of dealing with stress:
- Holding in feelings until it feels like, or you actually do, explode (Bermell, 2015).
- Procrastinating: putting off stress until a later time will only increase stress (Bermell, 2015).
- Hibernate/Become a sloth: ignoring the stressor or trying to sleep the stress away (Greene, 2013; www.truestressmanagement.com, 2014).
- Dwelling on the negative (Greene, 2013).
- Negative self-talk: self-criticism (Romito & Locke, n.d.).
- Avoiding friends and family (Bermell, 2015; Romito & Locke, n.d.).
If you find yourself doing any or all of the things from this list, know that you’re not alone! It is easy to fall into these ruts of ineffective coping, and it can be difficult to get out of them, but as we saw in the very first video there are so many ways to turn our stressful lives around!
Conclusion
Stress doesn’t have to be scary! We can all learn effective coping skills that will help us maintain our calm and continue to be an active part in our families’ lives.
*Now we ask that you get your personal journal out and write down at least one positive thing that is connected to a trial that you experienced that day. Remember to do this every evening.
Ponder this quote below. Write down some goals describing how you can cope with stress. Share your learning with a family member or friend.
*Please take a minute and complete this end of lesson survey by clicking on the link
References
Bermell, K. (2015). Effective (and ineffective) ways to manage stress. Retrieved from https://blogs.chihealth.com/index.php/2015/effective_ways_to_manage_stress/.
Brems, C. (2015). A Yoga Stress Reduction Intervention for University Faculty, Staff, and Graduate Students. International Journal Of Yoga Therapy, 25(1), 61-77.
Greene, L. A. (2013). Best and worst ways to cope with stress. Retrieved from http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20765943,00.html#stress-busting-solutions.
Montero-Marin, J., Prado-Abril, J., Piva Demarzo, M. M., Gascon, S., & García-Campayo, J. (2014). Coping with Stress and Types of Burnout: Explanatory Power of Different Coping Strategies. Plos ONE, 9(2), 1-9. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0089090
Persaud, N., & Persaud, I. (2016). The Relationship between Socio-Demographics and Stress Levels, Stressors, and Coping Mechanisms among Undergraduate Students at a University in Barbados. International Journal Of Higher Education, 5(1), 11-27.
Romito, K., & Locke, S. (n.d.). Common coping responses for stress. Retrieved from https://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/tc/common-coping-responses-for-stress-topic-overview.
Stalvey, S., & Brasell, H. (2006). Using Stress Balls to Focus the Attention of Sixth-Grade Learners. Journal Of At-Risk Issues, 12(2), 7-16.
5 Ways not to deal with stress. (2014). Retrieved from http://truestressmanagement.com/unhealthy-stress-management/.
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